the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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