"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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