and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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