You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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