You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
