I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
