You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
