Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
