And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
