You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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