operation have a gay friend backfired
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
