there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
