I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
