Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
