why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
