Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
