There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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