He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
