and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
