My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im six kinds of drunk right now
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
