Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
