Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
