your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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