I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
