after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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