so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
