The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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