Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
