This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
