I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize