Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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