I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
