what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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