i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
