are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
