Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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