Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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