Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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