we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
