apparently the secret to your success is patron
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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