you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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