He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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