Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
