We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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