tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
