I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
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I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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