dude i'm inner monologue high
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize