I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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