I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
