Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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