all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in the fireplace
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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