she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize