walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
this hospital has no fireball
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
