I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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