oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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