Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
