Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
