Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
