My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
