i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
