i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize