I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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