so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
