That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize