Umm I'm too high to move.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
