I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
